Jessica & Antonio

We are Antonio Buckley, and Jessica Bowman. We have been engaged since July and been dating for over 3 years now.

Jessica's Story...

I grew up the middle child of three girls. I had the opposite of Antonio, my family was so great and I have a lot of fond memories. One day everything changed. My dad who was our provider and my best friend, died from complications due to diabetes. He was our foundation. After he died our home fell apart. I was 16 at the time; that day I lost my best friend. He truly was the best dad ever. You have to be pretty amazing to be the only man in a house with four females. When my dad died, my mother changed. She stopped caring, stopped parenting and spiraled into a depression. To this day she continues to talk about suicide. Two years ago I experienced one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life. My mom was in the hospital after attempting to take her own life. I found myself struggling with how as the daughter I was suppose to council my mother. I didn't want to tell her right from wrong. But in the bible it says, if you kill yourself then you too will be tossed in the lake of fire for eternity. Thinking about my mother going to hell is scary; I love her with all my heart. I know that all I can do is pray and leave it in god's hands and that's what I do.

I'm the only daughter my mom has a relationship with. My oldest sister is in and out of jail, or running from the law. She lives with an abusive husband who is also a career criminal. The sad thing is she has a 7 year old son, Aiden, which my mom is struggling to raise. My younger sister is in a Texas Jail, incarcerated on unknown charges. To add to this my mother's home (our family home), is in foreclosure, and she is going through bankruptcy, while hoping to save the house. I want to give my mother the world; it is so hard to watch her struggle.

Antonio's Story...

Growing up for me was not so easy. My Parents (mom & stepdad) were drug addicted; my siblings and I spent our childhood in and out of foster homes. My real dad was never in my life. I have only one memory of him. When I was in grade school I found out my biological father had a job two blocks from my home. I rounded up my neighborhood friends and went down to see him. He knew who I was right away. But I will never forget what he said to me that day. In front of all my friends, he told me he wasn't sure if he was my dad and that my mom needed to prove it; then he told me to leave. I felt unwanted by my own dad. My mother and stepdad recovered from drugs and later gained custody of my siblings and me for good. My stepdad went on to become a minister. Growing up I never felt part of a family. I had two brothers and 4 sisters in the same house hold, yet for some reason I always felt left out.

Soccer is my sport; I love the game so much. I went on to play two season of college soccer and am now the boys' varsity coach at Jefferson High school. My parents have never watched me play a soccer game. I spent my whole life watching all the other parents support their kids, wishing I had that support for just one game. There are many more issues I faced growing up, but I bring these up because I want to have my own family one day and I am going to be the parent I wish I had, I am going to be the dad who is proud to claim his children as his own. I will always be there for them any way possible. I believe I need to be married first before I start a family so winning this contest will be the best thing that has ever happened to me besides meeting Jessica and if the Ducks ever win a national football championship. Alright edit the last part out. But even if they don't win I will still love her just the same. God answers all prayers and I know he will pave the way for us to afford a wedding.

Our Story...

We want to get married, and we will, but winning this contest will help us out so much. It also will help us meet some of our goals and wishes. We know Jessica's older sister is not fit or even able to give Aiden a good life, or a steady home, and Jessica's mom is not able to either. The court has not awarded anyone full custody yet because they are having a hard time choosing who will be a better fit. We want to adopt Aiden and give him a wonderful life. Being married will put us in better standing with the court system, and getting married sooner will give us a chance before the court grants someone custody or he gets put into foster care. We love him, and will do anything for him. We both are currently preschool teachers everyone knows the pay is not great. We do it because we love children. I (Antonio) have spent my whole life working with children. From working with inner city kids in New York, to teen programs, to church outreach program, and my biggest challenge, coaching soccer at the most challenging high schools in the state. One of our goals is to foster teenagers in our home; being married will allow us to begin. We see a need for good foundations and safe homes for teenagers. Working with the East Portland Community Center teen program was a life changing experience. Within the last six months two of our teens were murdered from gang violence. We loved both these boys and think of them daily. Once of the hardest parts of my life is watching the parents pour dirt onto their child's grave.

Coaching soccer at Jefferson high school is no cake walk. The neighborhood is one that I grew up in and is very hard to survive in, shootings happen all the time. There were three shootings across the street from the school in the last three weeks. My players are mostly immigrants, with little parental support. One of my closet players transferred schools this year to be with his girlfriend. What I thought was puppy love, is really the heartbreaking reality of a 14 and 15 year old who had a baby. There no time for them to grow up, it has to be now. We see so much hurt in teenagers daily and we feel God calling us to minister and provide for kids who are really in need. We both come from broken homes and really don't have a big connection with our families at this time. We want to break that cycle. We want to provide a child or children with a loving family that will care, understand, and support them so they can be successful in life.

We don't make a lot of money, but we are pursuing what we love. Jessica is in school to become a teacher. She works full time, goes to school full time and puts up with me and our baby (our new puppy Boston) full time. I have less than two years left until I get my degree in social science. I have not been to school in a couple of terms but will be going back next term. So having a second job at the community center will have to stop, and that means even less money. It's all for our future and we know, hard work does pay off. One day we will have a wedding; it may take a long time to save the money, but it will happen. I want to bring my family together and share in a true family moment for once in my life. I want to give them this moment of joy and time with all of us together without worry about money or other issues. After all God does not promise anyone another day. This wedding will give Jessica and me a chance to bring our families back together. This will fulfill my biggest goal in life, to have a family and be a great father.

WHY WE SHOULD WIN THE WEDDING GIVEAWAY

We want to get married because we love each other with all of our hearts, and couldn't think of spending a day without each other. We've prayed and know God has something special planned for us. This wedding will be a blessing to both families. When I asked Jessica's mother for permission to marry her, she broke down in tears. That was the first time I've heard a happy cry from her. This wedding will bring hope that both our families can be healed and made whole again. This wedding would also allow us more credentials to move ahead and file custody of Aidan and fill out our first foster parents application. We still don't know if we want to birth our own children, we are just so excited about fostering and adopting children; but we might change our mind.

Final thoughts:

Antonio: I never once told my mother I love her, and she never once told me, as long as I can remember. I only remember hugging her one time in my life. As difficult as my life has been, I thank her. She taught me lessons from her actions that have gotten me to this point in life. My wedding will be the perfect moment to tell my mother I love her and give her a great big hug.

Jessica: Every girl dreams of a big fancy wedding. My wedding does not have to be big or fancy, but I would love it. As long as I have Antonio and all of my friends and family there I would be grateful. My only wish is that my dad could walk me down the aisle. I know it's not physically possible because he is in heaven. But I know on my wedding day he will be with me in spirit. I miss him so much and I know I will make him proud.